Where is the hickey?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
