That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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