Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think I sprained my soul last night
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
