Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
