Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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