my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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