Don't you send me to vm
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
