The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
