she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize