i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
