then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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