Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He called his prostate his "boner button".
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
