He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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