how can u be prego again
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
