He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
