Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
