Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
