I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You dont lie about slip and slides
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Randomize
