it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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