I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
