"it" just moved
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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