i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
As shirtless as possible
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
