I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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