Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
