I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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