No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
only you would photoshop your dick
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
