Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
