Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
