if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
