You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
