Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
