Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
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