Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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