To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
if i died would you start the facebook group?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
