and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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