Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
