He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
