paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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