My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
