I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
