I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
