He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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