I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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