oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
