i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
