I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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