i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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