I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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