It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
