I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
